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How Men Think Differently Than Women

*This post is contributed to Spicy Scribbler Blog

This goes without saying, but we’ll mention it anyways: men and women are vastly different creatures. While some girls prefer romantic gestures and spontaneous first moves, there are guys who are more into MILF dating and one-night stands than they are into love at first sight or buying gifts. Since there are more differences between how boys and girls see things than there are similarities, it’s only natural to wonder why the ways these two genders think are so different.

Of course, there are certain standards and expectations society has imposed that makes men and women do different things, but in truth, the reason behind guys and girls thinking differently lies much more deeply – in fact, it’s our brains that are on opposite sides of the spectrum.

A One-Track Mind

There’s a reason why women are so famous for multitasking, and it’s not because men are dumb. During his “Freedom of Speech” show, stand-up comedian and Hollywood actor Eddie Griffin made a witty remark about how a guy’s brain works.

Griffin says: “A man’s got a one-track mind. When we’re watching the game, that’s all we are doing. We’re so into the game it’s like we’re playing it.” Although it’s a fairly dull comment, it makes a lot of sense if actually think about it.

No woman will ever admit it, but it’s a fact that almost all girls have their minds on many different things at any given time. On the other hand, you know that if you’re thinking about something, that’s the only thing going through your head. This is one of the main reasons why guys tend to get “in the zone” much more often than women.

Another good explanation comes from the fact that guys are prone to visualizing, while women often think in words. It might seem confusing, but try it this way – if you’re confused about something and you try to solve it in your head, you’ll usually see pictures and images of different scenarios in order to come to a solution. Contrary to this, the ladies form sentences which they put into focus in the goal of resolving a situation.

Tabula Rasa

The popular opinion about women being smarter than men doesn’t really come from male stupidity – but from our ability to think about nothing.

Turning your mind off, even for a couple of minutes, is something girls simply cannot do. Whether you’re playing video games, lifting weights in the gym, or mowing the lawn, there’s a good chance that your mind is a blank page at that point. It’s one of the greatest gifts man was given, but it’s also something women wrongly perceive as a lack of intelligence.

However, it’s a fact that women are generally more stressed than men. They’re always on the move, they like to “use” weekends to do chores instead of relaxing and sleeping in, they think too much about their appearance and about what others may think of them – and it’s all because their minds are working around the clock. Instead of looking down on men for being able to have an empty mind whenever they want, they should be envious of this ability.

how to be more confident in dating

How To Be More Confident During A Date

*This post is contributed to Spicy Scribbler Blog

If we we’re being completely honest, we would have to admit that dating isn’t the easiest game you could play. If the fear of rejection or the very good chance of any date going wrong weren’t enough, there’s also the problem of lacking confidence when it comes to trying to pick up a girl at a bar or to meet people online.

Believing in yourself is something you’ll definitely need in order to be successful at dating. And while some men only think that they got the guys but fail miserably when it comes to execution, others can’t even muster enough confidence to give online dating a shot. In that name, here are some tips on how to build your doing confidence without much effort.

Your Outside Matters…

Even though it’s usually expected of girl to put on their best face for a date, there’s nothing wrong with a guy who tries to look his best in order to give himself a confidence boost.

Our exterior is the very first thing that attracts or repels others. If your appearance lacks style, neatness or any general sense of what “matching clothes” means, you’re not very likely to make girls interested in you, which in turn negatively impacts your confidence.

Instead, don’t be afraid to put on whatever makes you look as handsome as possible, without overdoing it, of course. If you’ve got a piece of clothing that you’ve recently bought, take it out for a spin. If you have a pair of shoes that you really love but haven’t worn in a while, dust them off and add them to your stylish combination. It’s things like these that can make a guy’s confidence skyrocketed, whether we do or do not want to admit that our looks matter to us.

Also, let’s not forget that our smell is also part of our exterior. That sensual, intense and pleasant fragrance you like won’t only work with the ladies, but will also make you feel better about yourself.

…But Your Inside Matters More

Now that you’re all done taking care of your appearance, it’s time to make sure you’ve got the right attitude for an ensured dating confidence boost.

The first and foremost thing you need to do is to calm your mind. Letting your thoughts fall into place will allow you to see your target more clearly, as well as letting you overcome your fears and fill your head with happy thoughts instead of negative questions like “What if she doesn’t like me?” or “What if I say something stupid.

It’s actually this kind of thinking that makes most guys lose their confidence. Obsessing about various bad outcomes of a date ca seriously impact your dating game, as it won’t let you actually relax and be yourself. And since being yourself is directly connected to believing in yourself, it’s easy to see why negative thinking is a big no-no.

Finally, the most radical thing you can do in order to get a confidence boost is to be in control of a date. Plan everything out and make sure to put a surprise somewhere in there – this will both ensure that your date is impressed and will provide you with a power trip that’s good for your confidence.

tinder dating

Did Tinder Improve Or Destroy The Dating Scene?

Love it or hate it, you can’t avoid Tinder. It seems like everyone’s using the app – including more than a few A-list celebrities. (We’re looking at you, Katy Perry.) Swiping right and swiping left have become universal, an unavoidable part of dating for seniors and millennials alike.

Tinder is fantastically popular. And why not? Who doesn’t enjoy spending a few minutes flipping through profiles and rating them on a simple left-or-right basis?

The problem is that people have begun to confuse Tinder with actual dating. Tinder’s not a dating app. It’s not even a hook-up app, despite what that annoying guy at your office claims. It’s a social media site: Facebook with a Dislike button and no newsfeed.

There’s nothing wrong with social media. The problem comes when people rely on Tinder to meet potential dates – a strategy that essentially never pays off. Tinder users spend a lot of time swiping left and right that they could spend meeting eligible, interesting singles at a book club or dance classes – thereby condemning themselves to lives as lonely pathetic shut-ins, destined to die alone surrounded by drifting mounds of take-out menus.

Fight back. This doesn’t have to be your future.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH TINDER

One problem with Tinder is that it misrepresents compatibility, boiling it down to a single numeric score based on a few superficial factors.

Before the Internet, people found dates through shared interests. They went to church together or met in college classes. Maybe they were introduced by friends or they met in the workplace. They had things in common.

Online dating websites had the potential to be even better. Users who took the trouble to fill out complete profiles could be reliably matched with others who shared their interests or who found their self-descriptions attractive.

Then Tinder came along and sparked the mobile dating revolution, an industry based on small screens, limited information, and instant decisions.

Smart phones and websites have the potential to handle a staggering amount of information and provide justifiable advice to users. Imagine a dating website that made recommendations as reliable as the “you might also enjoy” books recommended by Amazon.com every time you check out. Computers could take a lot of the guesswork out of dating.

But Tinder isn’t a dating site. It’s not really about finding you a match. It’s intended to entertain you, not to fix you up with a compatible partner.

RATING THE RATINGS

Dr. Gareth Tyson of the Queen Mary University of London set up male and female dummy accounts on Tinder to study the dynamics faced by actual users. He also sent questionnaires to Tinder users to study their strategies when using the app. What he learned is surprising.

Men and women have very different experiences on Tinder, of course. Women receive quite a lot more matches. They are also more likely to send a message to matches identified by the app.

Confronted with low match rates, men respond by swiping right on a higher number of potential matches. This swamps women with even more potential matches, they respond to fewer of them. The app’s dynamics drive men to be less selective and women to be more selective over time. Researchers note that it is only a matter of time until men wind up swiping right on all the women they see, while women will be guaranteed a match every time they swipe right.

At that point, Tinder will need to reinvent itself or simply shut down.

THE END OF DATING

Critics say that Tinder is lousy at helping you meet someone you’d like to settle down with, but it’s pretty good at introducing you to an attractive stranger who is looking for no-strings-attached sex. “It’s not a dating app, it’s a hook-ups app,” they say.

The criticism isn’t fair but it isn’t entirely unfounded either. By boiling down compatibility to a quick look at a profile picture, Tinder embodies a uniquely cynical superficiality in matchmaking. Predators who measure their self-worth according to the number of attractive people they bed in a month or a year find Tinder just what the doctor ordered.

That’s not necessarily bad. If that’s your thing, go for it. The problem is when people think of that kind of superficial hook-up as dating, and when they dismiss all dating sites as variations on Tinder.

“There is no dating. There’s no relationships,” a Tinder user named Amanda told a Vanity Fair writer. “You can have a fling that could last like seven, eight months and you could never actually call someone your ‘boyfriend.’ [Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt – well, not on the surface.”

Dating without relationships. Perhaps that explains why a 2015 survey of Tinder users revealed that 30 percent are married, most of them describing themselves as “risk takers.”

Tinder is great technology for having a fling. But don’t call it a dating app. It is in many ways the Internet’s preeminent anti-dating app.

*This post is contributed to Spicy Scribbler Blog